Half Done

You insist on doing the button of your polo shirt yourself. It takes long seconds and I am impatient. Come on, I have to get to work.

Wait, Mummy, wait.

I bundle you out the door, the button half done. A quick kiss at the school gates. Mummy loves you.

The train station is heaving with bodies. The click-click of power heels, suits rushing past – ‘scuse me, ‘scuse me.

A firecracker sounds, everybody drops. I stand confused, wishing I’d let you fix your button.

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

***

I only managed 84 words this week, and I’m a bit late to the party but better late than never.

This piece was written for the Friday Fictioneers hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields – Addicted to Purple.

Each week a photo prompt is given and the challenge is write a flash fiction piece of no more than one hundred words.

Find other Friday Fictioneer stories here.

Author: Jennifer Kennedy

Mother, teacher and writer. I love all my jobs but writing holds a special place in my heart. I hope you enjoy reading my short stories as much as I enjoy writing them!

17 thoughts on “Half Done”

  1. neilmacdon – I have published stories in several magazine, including Structo and Gold Dust. I am the author of five books about Latin America and the Caribbean, and most recently Cautionary Tales for Development Folk, a collection of humorous and instructive stories drawn from a career in international aid. I have had a varied working career including science, journalism and publishing until I settled into the aid world. He is now turning to fiction writing full time, and have been serving an apprenticeship to the craft. I was born in Scotland, raised in Jamaica, and have lived and worked in England, the US and South Africa. I now live in a cottage in Surrey, England together with my wife and the obligatory cat and dog.
    neilmacdon says:

    A clever evocation of a panicked mind

    Reply
  2. rochellewisoff – Missouri – A Kansas City native, Rochelle's been married to her first husband Jan for nearly 50 years. A trained graphic artist, her passion is creating not only watercolor paintings, but word pictures as well. Her most recent novel about a middle-aged woman battling anorexia is under contract with literary agent Diane Nine www.ninespeakers.com
    rochellewisoff says:

    Dear Jen,

    You went farther in 86 words than some go in 200. The story’s a well directed sucker punch to the gut. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
  3. Iain Kelly – Canonbie Ave, East Kilbride, South Lanarkshire G74 4, UK – 41 year old writer, avid film viewer and book reader, employed in the media industry as a television editor.
    Iain Kelly says:

    Those little ‘what ifs’ of fate. Nicely done.

    Reply
  4. Ellie Scott – Yorkshire, UK – Ellie Scott is a freelance copywriter and author from Yorkshire, England. She has written three short story collections and a novel. Her short fiction has appeared in 'The Junction', 'Adler’s Writing', 'One Minute Wit', 'Invisible Illness' and 'VSS365 Anthology: Volume One'. You can connect with her on Twitter, Instagram and Medium @itselliescott
    Ellie Scott says:

    Ow. This really packed a punch in just 84 words. Amazing.

    Reply
  5. Lynn Love – UK – I'm a writer, living in Bristol in the UK. I've had a handful of short stories published but I'm still working on that Holy Grail for fiction writers- securing a literary agent. So, if you're an agent or have an Auntie, Uncle, second cousin, best friend who is one...
    Lynn Love says:

    I like your use of second person narrative – it works very well for this piece, keeping the story close to home and very emotional. All parents have been there – rushing about, just trying to get them out the door – and we’ve all had panicked moments too, filled with regret. You wrote this so well

    Reply
      1. Lynn Love – UK – I'm a writer, living in Bristol in the UK. I've had a handful of short stories published but I'm still working on that Holy Grail for fiction writers- securing a literary agent. So, if you're an agent or have an Auntie, Uncle, second cousin, best friend who is one...
        Lynn Love says:

        How very true

  7. Anna Rymer – Mum of two and a lover of books, stories and magic. I'm also a Writer, Performing Arts Postgraduate and early stage Fiction Editor.
    Anna Rymer says:

    Brilliant x Like everyone says an amazing use of just 84 words!

    Reply
  8. pennygadd51 – United Kingdom – I write. I've written many pieces of flash fiction, dozens of short stories and two novels, with a third in progress.
    pennygadd51 says:

    Excellent story. I hope it was just a firecracker and not something worse.

    Reply

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