The setting sun made the ash sparkle as it drifted on the air, much lighter than snow. Time was almost up. Jessie told Bobby to wait on the pavement while she did a quick recon.
Fate was on their side – a room with four walls and a door that locked from the inside – a refuge. They’d live another day.
‘Come up, Bobby.’
She spread their blanket on the cold concrete floor. They lay down. She pulled Bobby close.
‘Mummy, don’t do that. It hurts.’ Jessie’s eyes shot open.
‘Don’t do what, darling?’
‘Scratch my back with your nails.’
‘I’m not.’
This piece was written for the Friday Fictioneers hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields – Addicted to Purple.
Each week a photo prompt is given and the challenge is write a flash fiction piece of no more than one hundred words.
Find other Friday Fictioneer stories here.
Dear Jen,
All I can say is eeeeewwwwwww. Cringe-worthy and well written. I can only imagine what’s scratching his back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle! That is the reaction I was after. X
I can’t help but wonder what is scratching his back.
Great writing and story.
Thank you Moon! I can only imagine it’s something terrible.
Argh! Whatever they were hiding from is already in there – or something even worse. The stuff of nightmares. Well written.
Thanks so much Iain!
It’s always what you can’t see that frightens the most. Well written
Thank you!
I so agree … becomes sinister
YIKES!!!!
Loved that … deary me … even if my skin was crawling. I need to have a physical reaction to writing (I’ve recently realised) to make me stay with it.
Well done again. xx
Thanks so much Kate! xx
You paint the world Jessie and Bobby inhabit so economically and beautifully. I love the description of the drifting ash. I hope the scratching is just a hedgehog they have disturbed…
Let’s hope so! Thank you for those kind words Penny
I hope that’s only the rough concrete!
Me too Liz! Thanks for reading.
Yikes. Could be rats. Could be a monster.
You nailed it (etc)!
Thanks!
Time to leave, and pronto, I think. Very sinister.
I agree Sandra! Thanks.
Wow, just awesome…. goosebumps x
Thanks Leanne x
xxxx
Yikes… that’s not promising… hopefully it’s just a small cat or something similarly benign,
Let’s hope so … But I fear otherwise! Thanks for reading!
Rats? Gah!
Yikers! Okay, I imagined all sorts of things in the room with them. I’m just hoping they survived the refuge!
Me too! Thanks for reading
Just a cat…I hope…Gulp….
Now I’m itchy all over. Thanks a lot!
And with such a soft and fluffy beginning…
Ha! Sorry Dale!
😁
Gosh! That gave me the shivers !!!! I was beginning to feel happy for them 😦
Let’s hope she’s a ninja mum and gets them out of there! Thanks for reading 😊
Nice creepy ending! Time to find another refuge, I think.
Thanks Amie!
My Kind of story!!!
mine:
https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/a-whimsical-tale/
Scott
Glad you liked it!
🙂
Waaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
Sounds familiar that… glad you got it in a story 🙂
That opening is divine! This story leaves so many unanswered questions and is just beautifully written.
Creepy as…. you give me nightmares 🤣😂
Thanks so much Anna! I was waiting for you to read it because you’d know where the idea came from 🤣
I wasn’t expecting that ending – so very creepy! Very well written – sad, moving and chilling
Thanks very much Lynn!
My pleasure